Douglas Hadley

Since Mindfulness and Gratitude came to me as my focus for 2025, it began to pop up everywhere I turn. We have book boxes in our parks. The idea is you can take a book for free and give books for free. I always look forward to looking in the box to find a new read. The first box I stopped at in the new year had, “Wherever You Go There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life” by Jon Kabat-Zinn. Are you kidding me?

As a follow-up to my last post, I want to share the results our our winter solstice focus experiment. (Please read the previous post if you have not already). The results were totally random and perhaps unexpected; perhaps not. For my wife the remaining slip of paper, her focus for 2025, was to “cook new foods, trying something different once each month.” She has since extended her 2025 focus to introducing dishes from other countries. First, this is one of the items I wrote down for myself. I was a little disappointed it was not mine, but pleased I will have new food experiences without all the work. I’m sure I will help her out with the preparation.
As for mine, I was disappointed, but not surprised. Let me explain.

It’s been a long time. No apologies, just moving on.

My wife and I are trying something new as we start the New Year. To give credit where credit is due, my wife saw this practice on TikTok. At the start of the winter solstice, December 21, 2024, we wrote down ten items to pursue in 2025. They could be wishes, dreams, ideas, hobbies, new habits, losing old habits, etc. I’m hesitant to use the word resolutions, but you get the idea.

Recently my wife and I took a vacation to Montreal, Canada. It was our second trip to Montreal, and we loved it so much the first time we had to return. If you want to experience the feel of Europe, specifically France, without leaving the continent, Montreal is a great place to go. First, everyone speaks French but can easily transition to English for those like me for whom French is a foreign language. Second, it is a clean, safe, very vibrant city with lots of restaurants and sightseeing.At the hotel where we were staying, we received a basket each morning filled with breakfast goodies. Bread or croissants, cheese, jelly, butter, etc. One day we did not eat our box of goodies, so my wife suggested we take it with us and perhaps give it to a homeless, hungry person.

I grew up in a Christian home. This statement means different things to different people. How I understand it today is not the same as how I understood it as a child. Like the Apostle Paul states in 1 Corinthians 13:11: “When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways.”

We went to church nearly every Sunday. I know my mom prayed and I’m sure my dad did in his way. We did not have table grace unless it was a special occasion. We did pray when my Uncle Jack was there. He was a United Methodist pastor. It was like, “Jack’s here. He needs to pray for us.”

In my latest book, “Now’s the Time,” one of the themes throughout the story is ego. I have been giving a lot of thought to ego as of late. If you believe in the idea of original sin, I wonder was it ego? Original sin is usually referred to as the “fall.” The concept of the “fall” is widely used to refer to what is recorded in Genesis, particularly to what is written in the temptation of Adam and Eve, their being overcome by it.

Have you ever had an experience of coincidence? The dictionary defines coincidence as “a remarkable concurrence of events or circumstances without apparent causal connection.” Some people refer to this as luck or dumb mistakes. I like Dr. Wayne Dyer’s description. He writes, “In mathematics, two angles that are said to coincide fit together perfectly. The word “coincidence” does not describe luck or mistakes. It describes that which fits together perfectly.”

Having a blog is much like dinner at our house. Fixing and eating dinner is easy and come naturally. Deciding what to eat is always difficult and sometimes impossible. I love writing this blog but many times I have a difficult time knowing what I should write about. Today, my blog idea comes from a line in a book I just finished, Dark Matter by Blake Crouch. First of all, it is not the normal genre I like to read. It is more science fiction oriented. However, I must say I would recommend this book and read more selections from this author. Thank you, Mr. Crouch.

The idea the character promotes is, “Where we live, our friends, our jobs – those things define us. They are not all that defines us. As long as I’m with you I know exactly who I am.” This character, Jason, is referring to his wife and son when he talks about being “with you.”

I agree with this character that our lives, our friends, and our jobs define us. However, that is not necessarily a positive attribute. I allowed myself to be defined by my occupation / calling as a minister. At some point along the way, this definition consumed me leading to burn-out and pushing me to the edge of self-destruction. Men are notorious for being defined by what they do. Women can be defined by what they do, but if they have children they are more likely to define themselves by their child(ren). Neither is healthy as they do not reflect our true selves.

I never thought I would find myself recommending a television show as part of my blog. Yet here I am recommending a television series. This is a series that has captivated me since the first episode. It was originally a PBS show called, “I’ll Have What Phil’s Having.” It has since been picked up by Netflix under the name “Somebody Feed Phil.” It features Phil Rosenthal who is the creator, writer, and executive producer of “Everybody Loves Raymond.”

I continue my fascination with Saint Francis of Assisi. One aspect that impresses me most about Saint Francis is he did the unexpected. During the bloody conflict of the Crusades where Christians are trying to convert Muslims, St. Augustine sought a different path. St. Francis found a path of non-violence. He went to Egypt in search of the leader of the Muslim forces, the Sultan. Once they met, St. Francis had a peaceful dialogue with the Sultan. A spirit of understanding, respect, and forgiveness dominated their conversation. This encounter certainly played an important role in the scribing of this prayer.

Growing up United Methodist I never heard any pastors speak about saints. United Methodists believe in saints, but not in the same manner as the Catholic Church. United Methodists do not pray to saints, nor do they believe they serve as mediators to God. However, John Wesley (United Methodist founder) believed we have much to learn from the saints. I agree with this wholeheartedly and I wish I had focused more on saints when I was serving United Methodist churches. They do, indeed, have a great deal to teach us.

My reading as of late has led me, or should I say challenged me, to consider the role of ego in my life. I have never considered myself an ego-driven person. No one has ever called me egotistical. I have often belittled myself so as not to come across as arrogant. Yet, this concept of ego continues to appear in the books I’m reading, the podcasts, and the speakers I listen to regularly. When something appears consistently in my life I feel it is time to consider the reasons why.

Dr. Wayne W. Dyer defines ego this way: “The ego is only an illusion, but a very influential one. Letting the ego illusion become your identity can prevent you from knowing your true self. Ego, the false idea of believing that you are what you have or what you do, is a backward way of assessing and living life.”

There is a book titled The Hidden Life of Trees: What They Feel, How They Communicate – Discoveries from a Secret World by Peter Wohleben. To be fair, I need to make the disclaimer up front that I have not read this book in its entirety. I have read portions, but not the entire book. When I heard about this book on public radio I immediately checked it out from the library. Everyone else must have heard the same radio program as many people put the book on reserve and as soon as my two weeks expired I had to return the book. In the meantime, I had moved on to several other books and interests. However, the portions I read fascinated me and led to many interesting conversations with my wife. I will finish the book in the near future. In the meantime…

Today I want to consider a topic I briefly addressed in my book, The Seven Wonders of Your World. It’s the topic of visualization. I was reminded of its power while reading Jay Shetty’s book, Think Like a Monk. By the way, these are both books I highly recommend.

Visualization is a gift we have all been given from the moment of our birth. Children have no problem visualizing. Of course, as adults, we don’t call it that – we say they are playing make-believe or pretending. In truth, they are visualizing. As adults, we put it off as child’s play. However, visualization is a powerful tool that can help positively influence our future.

In an earlier blog, I shared the power of words. Remember, “Words are our most inexhaustible source of magic.” What happens if you begin to put words together? You create sentences, paragraphs, thesis, books – you have STORY. I love stories. I love to read stories. I love to write stories. I love to tell stories. Stories are important.

Stories were key to our species’ survival even before the development of a spoken language. In prehistoric times, a caveman told a story by painting on a cave wall. It may have been used to tell another person about how someone was eaten by a wild beast. The story may have relayed details of the beast’s dwelling. The knowledge gained from the cave drawing (story) could help early men and women survive.

Over time, storytelling evolved, creating more detailed and sophisticated stories. With the development of a spoken language, these stories became even more comprehensive and developed by sharing virtues, beliefs, and philosophies.It is important to realize everyone has a story. Your story may not be the key to our species’ survival, but it is important all the same. Through these stories, we share information in a way that creates an emotional connection. They help us to understand that information and each other, and it makes the information memorable. Because stories create an emotional connection, we can gain a deeper understanding of other people’s experiences.

If you read my first post about words you know how important they are to me. Here’s an interesting word: Omnipotence. This word may or may not be a familiar word to you. Omnipotence is often used about a deity having unlimited power; can do anything. People often say, “God, is all-powerful” (i.e. omnipotent). This was an often discussed topic around the table when I was at Christian Theological Seminary (Indianapolis, Indiana). We had a broad mix of religious and non-religious backgrounds so this topic was usually approached in a spirited manner. We were able to have civil conversations about controversial topics as each one approached the discussions with respect for each other's views. Sadly, I don’t see this happening very often these days.

That aside, the question I remember being raised in this hot topic goes like this: “If God is all-powerful (omnipotent) can God create a rock that God is unable to lift?” From the standpoint of logic, this would eliminate any possibility of omnipotence. If a deity can create such a rock that cannot be lifted, then the deity eliminates his or her potential of being all-powerful by not being able to lift the rock.

Words! I love words. I love written words. I love spoken words. I love words because they have the power to change lives. Words are not like magic. Words are magic. JK Rowling in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows states, “Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury and remedying it.” These words are so compelling for me I have a portion of this quote tattooed on my forearm as a constant and permanent reminder of the power of words.

Florence Scovel Shinn, a spiritual leader, and an author has a book entitled, Your Word is Your Wand. She states, “A person’s word is their wand filled with magic and power…so you have the power to change unhappy conditions by waving over it the wand of your word.”